People don’t resist change, they resist being changed. ~ Unknown
One common roadblock for a coach in helping people change is the irresistible attachment to his or her own ideas & strategies. A coach can be trapped in his own ideas and continuously hint the client and gravitate the client towards a particular outcome or path. It’s very important to realize that the process of coaching is “all about the client” and “not about the coach”.
I was fascinated to read the same theme echoed in Bhagavad Gita [Chapter 18, the last chapter, verse 63].
iti te jnanam akhyatam
guhyad guhyataram maya
yathecchasi tatha kuru
After unraveling the secret wisdom in 17 chapters, at the end of 18th chapter Krishna says to Arjuna to carefully think about Krishna’s words of wisdom and do what seems right to him. Krishna seemed to be detached about the outcome and didn’t insist Arjuna to blindly follow what he preached in 17 chapters.
This exactly is coaching. A coach can only create awareness and then hold the client accountable for committed actions. Taking personal responsibility for our actions is of paramount importance. That’s the secret of all personal achievement and success. Everything we do matter and we must take ownership of our actions!
Coaching is not so much about adding, it is subtracting whatever is getting in the way of the client’s desired goal.
~ Timothy Gallwey
If the coach is biased towards a particular outcome or path, the client takes no responsibility to act and take the next logical step in the path of personal change.
If you are in the role of a change catalyst, a professional coach or manager or leading people – accept the fact that you cannot change people (and that’s their job); you can only elevate their awareness and empower them to take responsibility for their actions.
Once we embrace Krishna’s philosophy in helping people change, we can relax & rejoice. Let’s remember, it’s not about the coach! It’s all about the client.