Relationship is a mirror


All relationship is a mirror in which the mind can discover its own operations. Relationship is between oneself and other human beings, between oneself and things or property, between oneself and ideas, and between oneself and nature. ~ J Krishnamurti

Last month I attended a weekend study retreat hosted by Krishnamurti Foundation India. In this article, I have attempted to highlight one important aspect I picked from the retreat and implemented in my life. The phrase ‘relation is a mirror’ is a brilliant metaphor that paints a new picture in our brains. This phrase moves our attention from others to self in relationships. In essence, we can see ourselves in a mirror of relationships with other people.

If we pause and see our images in this mirror, it reveals everything about ourselves. These images clearly show who we are and what we do. Our beliefs, values, prejudices, biases, fears, hidden motives and choices emerge and become clear when we start seeing ourselves in the mirror of relationships.

Let me illustrate this further with a personal story. This incident happened on my way to this retreat on Thursday evening (6th November). While driving towards KFI center on Kanakapura road at 7PM, the night was dark and the road was deserted. A couple standing the roadside bus stop waved their hands to hop into my car. Since I was in a hurry, I didn’t pay much attention to drove past them.

Honestly, I didn’t think about that incident until Friday morning. When the topic of relationship mirrors surfaced, this movie instantly started running on the screen of my mind. I asked myself, why did I ignore their request and didn’t offer help? I pondered over various potential reasons.

Is it because I was afraid to put myself in a vulnerable situation? Was I uncomfortable talking to them on my way for the next 5 kilometers (my destination)? Was I uncomfortable in stopping and saying NO? Was it because no one so far has asked for a ride on a deserted road? And so on…

Probably it’s difficult to put my finger on the exact reason (there may be combinations); however I loved the process of introspection and seeing my reflections in this mirror. The mirror was a great tool to examine my own behavior. What’s important is the fruit of this self-examination. This morning another couple asked the same help and I stopped with a smile, offered to help and dropped them to the nearest bus stop on my way! Here is the best part, I felt awesome after I did this 🙂

I apologize for taking a mundane example to illustrate my experience in self-examination and behavior change. I hope that doesn’t dilute the profundity of this message from Krishnamurti.

It has been a month now after my encounter with mirrors of relationships, the excitement of self-reflection continues. Every day I learn new things about myself through all my relationships with people (at home & work), ideas, nature and things in my life!

PS : I acknowledge the picture from the net.

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