Relationship is a mirror – J Krishnamurti

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J Krishnamurti

Relationship Is a Mirror

Surely,
only in relationship
the process of
what I am
unfolds,
does it not?

Relationship is a mirror
in which
I see myself as I am;
but as most of us
do not like
what we are,
we begin to discipline,
either positively or negatively,
what we perceive
in the mirror of relationship.

That is,
I discover something in relationship,
in the action of relationship,
and I do not like it.
So, I begin to modify
what I do not like,
what I perceive
as being unpleasant.

I want to change it;
which means
I already have a pattern
of what I should be.
The moment there is a pattern
of what I should be,
there is no comprehension of
what I am.

The moment I have a picture of
what I want to be,
or what I should be,
or what I ought not to be,
a standard
according to which
I want to change myself;
then, surely,
there is no comprehension of
what I am
at the moment of relationship.

I think
it is really important
to understand this,
for I think
this is where most of us
go astray.

We do not want to know
what we actually are
at a given moment
in relationship.

If we are concerned
merely with self-improvement,
there is no comprehension of
ourselves,
of what is.

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